Its only now as a grown woman I’m realising how much the influences of my primary relationships as a child impacted my adult relationships, influencing how I love, express, and communicate with others.
Every blend has a beginning this is the story of S O U L (#001)
I think I owe an apology to all of my loved ones. The product of my upbringing means at times I can be a little (a lot) distant, sharp or just plain blunt with little compassion but I know better now, so I’m doing my best to hold myself accountable when and where necessary.
Hugs were never a thing in our family, and if it was it was always awkward (due to the heaps of secrets and abuse swept under carpets that had no business being carpets) so when ever I was given a warm and loving embrace it was always very unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
With the exception of some incredible black women. I had many aunties who were not aunties but out of respect you call them aunties because you never address an elder by their first name. Some of these women were malicious, always talking about how much weight I had gained, and some were loving. And the ones who loved me LOVED me. Always so elated to see me like it was the first time, and when ever they embraced me it was a warm rich and luxurious one. I was always left with the sweet residue of amber on my clothes. Such a vivid and repetitive sensory memory.
Because of the things I have experienced within my family I cut myself away from them for a year. Didn’t speak to anyone. And I felt so much GUILT, I also really missed them but knew I needed to give myself time away - that soil was rotting, I needed soil with better fertiliser I didn’t want to fill the whole by throwing myself into a relationship so I stayed on my jack jones and tried to deal with my feelings. But I missed intimacy and warm hugs especially, I wanted to be reminded of that feeling of being loved in a warm embrace.
So I created S O U L. My go to blend. 5/7 days out of the week I’m wearing the Soul blend. After a long day, I come home and put Soul in a diffuser love on, and pour into myself (open to your interpretation). When I’m restless and can’t sleep I dash a little on my pillows and pulse points and make believe that I’m in a warm embrace.
Soul & Spirit, what is the difference?
S O U L - is feeling based, working in line with your emotions and matters of the heart.
S P I R I T - works with your intuition, and matters of the third eye.
S O U L - Black Amber, Hyssop & Sandalwood (for lovers of warm scents and musk)