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Watching Girlfriend’s and Moesha on Netflix.


Thank you for being here. I've been practicing being a hermit for much of November as best as I can. It's been an interesting year. And I need a moment to exhale and really understand what I feel and know without the distraction or influence of other things or people. It's done me some good, it's been uncomfortable, but the smoke has cleared a little. I don't know what you are experiencing personally, but I know that we all are dealing with 'something' no matter what it is. 


So I encourage you to take the time out to figure out how you really feel about your current situation, especially the things that you find challenging. How do you feel about it and what do you want to do about it? 


(PAUSE - answer that question for yourself.)


I'm slowly figuring it out for myself, but the smoke continues to clear no matter how small day by day, persistence and consistency is the key. 


It's actually a little frustrating because it seems to be the hardest thing to do, commit to being committed, and persist in being persistent. The root of that is essentially self discipline and my desire to be it.


On some days my desire to be self disciplined is strong, some days it is weak to non-existent And all I desire to do is relive my childhood watching Girlfriends or Moesha on Netflix.

The factor is my desire, how much do I really desire the P & C in my health, productivity, expression, relationships and stability? 


(Side note one revelation that I had, which was somewhat of a reflection was that a lot of the times these characters where getting in their own way. Disputes or conflicts never really had much to do with the other person but more so with the individual. There has been somewhat of a therapeutic binge over the past week, thanks Netflix)


I cannot control tomorrow or what has happened before, all I can do is focus on what I can do right now, When I find myself wasting time thinking about all the things that I can't do because of X Y or Z, or all the things that could go wrong, or the worst: comparison. I literally have to lovingly bring myself back, nurture my sporadic mind and remember this present moment, what do I desire in this moment? 


Everything else is none of my business.

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